The Quiet Room 2

      Crimson dribbles down my hands from where they connected with that now not-so-perfect wall. A three jagged cracks stretch their fingers outward from where the initial dent is. I smile with satisfaction.



That’s what you get. Stupid wall.


      Silly, childish memories suddenly flood me. A torrent of thoughts, and I’m drowning. I’m sitting in someone’s lap, bouncing gently to the rhythm of an old melody, singing along. Swimming in a warm lake with unfamiliar faces grinning all around me; water lapping up around my chin as I tread water. A blurry face splashes water playfully at my face and…
      And my fingers are going numb. The memories disintegrate, but I grope for them. Please don’t leave… I don’t want to forget again. Those people, they all looked so happy and now they’re fading. Blank slate once more.
      The carpet is, splatter by splatter, being more and more stained by the red river rolling from my wrist. I sink to my knees and just watch myself bleed. My world is slowing oozing away from me as the ruby’s seep into the perfect white carpet.


Weaker and weaker.


      Hazily I mumble undefined words and lay back; stare at the ceiling.


Life ebbing away…


      Just then, doors I had never seen before burst open from opposite ends of my white cage. People in white coats and white masks crowd me. I had never seen so much white before, not like this. It feels like it’s snowing doctors.
      I can’t feel much physically anymore. There’s a dull throb in my hands, but I’m happy for it; to feel I’m alive. Maybe I’m done with being alive. What’s the point? Questions are too much right now. Hands dance around me, lifting, pulling, poking. 
      Everything is much softer when I’m way down here; way down in this part of my empty brain. Drifting fingers grasp each of my hands and more white surrounds them, covering the red mess I made.


“Please stay…” I mumble.
     
      I hope they’ll listen. The first faces I’ve seen in so long, the first real people. Pale blue. They’re saying words but it’s all so muddy.


“Don’t leave me in here…”


      More poking. More prodding. More talking.
I close my eyes and let the world drift away on its own little oceanic current as everything goes black.